Friday, September 21, 2007

Words and Phrases that I Despise...

1. module

2. medallion

3. nosh

4. preggo

5. preggers

6. conversate (because it's not really a word!)

7. orientate (ditto.)

8. "This is your boy..."

9. cuz (as in cousin)

10. "On point"

11. "This is how we do"

12. "Right quick"

13. strangulate

14. probally

15. supposably

16. flustrate/ed/ing

17. fustrate/ed/ing

18. "I'm not gonna lie"

19. "Got my hair did"

20. "Baby mama"

21. "b-e-a-u-tiful"

22. digress

23. facetious

24. anyways

25. "dunzo"

If you ever hear me utter one of these despised words or phrases, you have my permission to kick me in the knee.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Saving money and calories

I would like to thank the man who stocks the vending machine at work. Thanks to him and the 243 Special K and Nature's Valley bars, I do not spend my money in his machine every afternoon.

If I wanted healthy snacks, I would bring them from home.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

My favorite hobby...


Have you ever known someone who has had more car accidents than you've had pairs of shoes? Whether the accident(s) were their fault or someone else's, shouldn't they take the hint? I know this girl (kind of) through a friend of a friend. I've known (of) her for about 4 years now, and in the first 2 years, she had around 5 accidents. Her online journal chronicled a new mishap every few months and (of course) they were never her fault. At one point, I think there was a back brace involved. I got sick of reading about the drama so I forgot about her for a while. Two weeks ago, I stumbled across her online journal again. Surprise, she had been in another car accident the previous week. Now, even if she went those last 2 years without a wreck, that's still 6 accidents in a matter of 4 years, and I don't have a clue at how many occurred before I knew her. Take the hint, you suck at driving. And if they truly weren't her fault, you still suck at being in a car. Take the bus.

I see terrible drivers every single day. And I see so many situations where, were an accident to occur, the idiot driver may not believe he or she was at fault. Believe me, he/she was guilty. I am amazed at how often I see drivers not paying attention to the road. Aside from all the cell phone talkers and makeup putter-oners, 80% of drivers on my commute are not paying attention to the task at hand: keeping their damn car on the road at the appropriate speed while being aware of other cars. Whether they're staring at the planes taking off and landing, gawking at the new Sea World water park, or chatting with a passenger, it's clear that they're mind is not where it should be. When I drive, I drive with a purpose: to get where I'm going.

So, above mentioned girl, thank you for jacking up auto insurance rates for those 6 other drivers. Turn in your license and get a ride.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Save some money...

Why do people pay to go see a therapist?

I'll tell you what's wrong with you for free.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


I really hate the word 'blog,' but I don't know if there is another good word to use. A year ago, a co-worker friend (Hi Liz!) and I were talking about starting one of these. I'm just now getting around to it. That's how I roll.

It seems like everyone in the world has one, and now I'm giving in to the pressure. I have so many hilarious thoughts run through my head each day and I need a place to share them, otherwise I will die of laughter overload. If you don't find them funny, perhaps you are suffering from a humor tumor. You should get that checked out.